How to Become Better at Communicating in Your Relationship
Although it may not make sense to the “problem solvers”, the first step to become better at communicating in your relationship is just listening. Listen to your partner, hear their story, and empathize with them. Perhaps after you have patiently listened without adding in your suggestions your partner will be receptive to feedback.
Stereotypically, men have a much more difficult time at listening without wanting to “remove the nail.” For many, it’s difficult to sit with the feeling of their partner being in pain and their first instinct is to want to remove it. For the problem solvers out there, here are some tips to become a better listener.
- Eye contact… this is listening rule #1
- Recognize your own thoughts and feelings
- Accept that your partner rather be heard than fixed
- Validate their feelings
- Remember that you cannot change anyone, including your partner
Now I don’t want this post to seem like I’m bashing those that like to “fix” things in relationships. Having someone that can problem solve in a relationship can be a huge asset. However, when it comes to communicating in relationships this it not always the case.
We all want to become better at communicating in our relationships, however this is all much easier said than done. Listening is a skill and like any skill it takes practice. Once you have this down it may dramatically improve the communication in your relationship.
For the partners of “problem solvers”, be patient with them and give them gentle reminders when you feel like you’re not being heard. When it’s all said and done, you’re partner is most likely wanting to fix your situation because they care deeply about you and your situation.
Here’s Jason Headley’s It’s Not About The Nail Video:
